Okay, so my husband and I are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary tomorrow (June 4th), and it has been a seriously quick two years. We’ve gone through a lot of changes and grown a lot together, but if you know us, laughter has characterized every step of the way. So sitting here with him, I wanted to share the top things that have given us a good laugh on a regular basis over the years.
Making fun of other people
- There are way too many examples of this, but we at least do it when people are present and can laugh along with us…lol!
Making fun of Alexandria
- She likes being held by men. Our statement is, “Well, that’s good. We just need her to get converted to keep it all in check.”
- Why does she compliment herself by clapping when she feels she’s done a good job…smh
- Can’t figure out why she is so lazy, unless God just wanted a good laugh…lol
Making fun of our Black church experiences and current foolishness we see
- From running around trying to “catch the Spirit” to making ultra-vague statements like, “The Lord said, tomorrow is……Tuesday. Hallelu!”, we have a lot of experiences that keep us cracking up these days.
- Come on honey, let’s “MOGUL” for Jesus…..this is beyond dumb, but a true movement apparently
- Words that have lost their original meaning: VISION. PURPOSE. DESTINY. RESTORATION. DELIVERANCE. POWER.
Making extremely dumb comments real seriously
- After reading so many Hermeneutics blogs, I love to tell my husband, “Why you keep on oppressing me?!?”
- After watching too many Sinbad skits, my husband loves to just do things like leave his shorts in the floor, saying: “You can’t take it can you? Look at me, see how free I am?”
- Honey, did you give Alexandria her milk? No, it’s not what I do.
Making racial jokes to White people all the time, especially at church (really cracks the ice)
- Great example of this: I was looking for my husband after church while toting our daughter along. Finally, I ran into one of the elders, and I mentioned that I was looking for Gabe. I also said, “I mean, how can you lose a Black man in a Presbyterian church?” It provided us all with a great laugh, especially as he told me I couldn’t keep using the race card…lol!
- Asking a couple at church why their toddler daughter was trying to rub Gabe’s skin color off like he was dirty or something…lol!
- Told a lady at church that we were going to Missouri for a wedding. She asked if that was where we were from. I told her, “Now, you know Black people don’t live in Missouri” (apart from St. Louis and Kansas City apparently…lol)
Making one-line comments about random things
- She’s not the ‘thinking type’
- She loves you soooo much
- You know how the Bible says that Jesus was acquainted with all our struggles, do you think that Jesus was ever constipated?
- Anytime my husband sees an angry woman, he says, “She just needs a hug.”
- You just don’t understand their love.
- Asking my husband why certain people do things, his response: Because they’re sinners honey. They do what sinners do.
- I mean, I don’t think that I’m that important to have a Twitter account. I’m a stay at home mom! What kind of thoughts do I have to share throughout the day?
- Jesus is not your boyfriend. You cannot have a date with Jesus.
- “Your hand feels so good on my body”……completely taken from a “My Name is Earl” episode, but it has to be said in a real breathless kind of way
- I’m so happy you don’t act like your brother (I so absolutely adore my brother-in-law though)
- I’m so happy you don’t act like Melissa (the ex before me)
- As soon as I have a child/labor pains/c-section/cramps I’ll let you know how I feel.
Taking excerpts from books, blogs, and movies we read/see and trying to apply it to our relationship when we know it’s foolishness
- Great example: I was reading the book “Created to be his Helpmeet” before I got so overwhelmed I couldn’t continue. When my husband finally read portions of the book, he couldn’t help trying some of the things out, like pretending he was in utter despair because I wasn’t smiling at some moment, as if his manhood depended upon it…smh
- Talking about the Five Love Languages, I ask my husband what his love language is. He shrugs his shoulders and says, “I don’t know. I don’t have one, I guess.”
- After watching Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger: “I’d rather being a wandering spirit for all eternity than to live without you.” I’m going to need you to go home to the Lord…smh
Making random observations
- Who plays slow jams in the middle of a Sunday afternoon?
- You can’t be ugly and high maintenance at the same time. It’s like an inverse square law.
- He was really nice and all, I just couldn’t look at his face that long.
- Just pointing out how many times we see people take Scriptures out of context always provides a good laugh.
- See, that’s why we named her Alexandria, so she can always get a job…smh
- After listening to a gospel song….what is this song about? Why does it sound like old R&B with Jesus in it? Throwing your panties at Jesus…smh
Poking fun at each other
- You are…..magically delicious. You’re comparing me to a bowl of Lucky Charms?
- My husband throws random things at me, telling me to ‘think fast’, and if I don’t catch it, he says, “You pregnant?” So I do that to him, and ask him if he’s pregnant too.
- I dared my husband to run after an older white lady who was walking at the park. She had just passed us, and I dared him to start running behind her to see if she got scared.
- Babe, you know you can’t compliment him. He’s a teenager, be taking that real personally, getting confused and stuff.
- I think you’re my…uh…third favorite out of all five of my wives. What wives?
- Trying to act like my younger brother, my husband just waves at me with the back of his hand while telling me to go make him some fried chicken and biscuits.
Me trying to explain the comments he hears from women (including me) so that he can actually understand them….just explaining things that don’t make sense…lol!
- Asking for a massage, I explain to my husband: I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to do. I just want you to want to do it. I realize that this is really how I feel about most things he doesn’t readily want to do…smh
- A long convo: Trying to explain how some women feel offended by the acknowledgment of Mother’s Day in the church when they don’t have kids
- Trying to explain why some women view men as projects and feel the need to take on these projects as a relationship
Laughing at our failed attempts at romance
- Trying to stare deeply into each other’s eyes when we notice something else that gets our attention
- At home date night consisted of really good burgers and fries by candlelight
- Asked my husband why he loved me, and he responded, “Because I felt like it.” Wow! I’m glad you felt like it.
- When trying to cuddle and we realize that one of us is a little gassy and needs to go to the bathroom (this happens so often)
- I just fall asleep….smh
All in all, I am soooo completely thankful to be married to my best friend for these past two years. I think that we have laughed almost every day of our marriage, and I consider that to be one of God’s richest blessings in our marriage: laughter. I never realized how important that is, but I’m glad we have it all the time in our marriage. And I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life cracking up with this man. I love me some him!